You should be tasered if.....

You play TE for the Cleveland Browns, an 0-2 NFL Team, you have played only a handful of games because you crashed your motorcycle in a parking lot, and you are trying to tell your Super Bowl winning head coach how to win games.


Congratulations Kellen, here's your sign.

You should be tasered if....

You are the Head Coach of the Miami Dolphins and your team is up 3 points in an NFL game, the other team has a long play (83 yards) that results in a touchdown but the receiver clearly stepped out of bounds, and you have a chance to challenge the play before the extra point is kicked but you timidly throw the red flag about 20 yards behind the referee so he can't see it and promptly lose the lead and the game late in the fourth quarter.

Nice job Nick, I hope your whole team tasers your rearend all the way back to Miami.

You should be tasered if.....

You play LBer for the San Diego Chargers making 1.7 million this year and you get in an all night car chase with the police in your NFL city. Later on you make it home and go after an off duty officer and you get shot not one, not two, but three times by San Diego's finest.

Next time, try Kevlar Steve Foley.

You should be tasered if ......

You are a MLB team and you are one game out of first place with 42 games left to be played and 10 games later you are 6 games out and your season is basically down the crapper because you go 2-8 when it counted the most including a 6 game losing streak.

Welcome to the Outhouse Cincinatti. Much different from the penthouse huh?

You should be tasered if.....

You played or coached basketball on the U.S. Basketball team that went over with names like Carmello Anthony, DeWayne Wade, Lebron James, Mike Krzyzewski and friends on a basically paid vacation to represent our great country and come back with the BRONZE medal.

I hope they taser you and your shoe contracts.

You should be tasered if.....

You own one of the worst NFL franchise in the league and you have the overall number 1 pick in the NFL draft and.... you pass on possibly the most exciting player to ever play college football in Reggie Bush to pick some Defensive End from North Carolina State.

Here's to hoping Mario Williams scores 20 TD's a year like REggie Bush will for the Saints.

Thanks for saving New Orleans, Houston.

You should be tasered if.....

You are a 1000 yard running back for the Miami Dolphins and you make 8 million a year and you give it all up to smoke dope and listen to Bob Marley.



How's the Canadian League Ricky Williams?

You should be tasered if.....

You coach a Major Division one college coach and you and your team get beat by Montana State.


Taser this Dan Hawkins.

You should be tasered if...

You are a MLB manager and there is a man on 2nd, no one out, tie game, and you have a .243 hitter up and you don't have the hitter sac bunt the runner to third base.

This taser goes out to you Frank Robinson

You should be tasered if.....

You keep pitching to Albert Pujols and Ryan Howard after the first two home runs they hit on you in one game.

Welcome to TASER world Braves and Pirates, I hope you get tasered soon.

You should be tasered if....

You are Reggie Herring, defensive coordinator of the Arkansas Razorbacks who said he would hang himself if Arkansas got blown out by USC.

(They promptly went out and got beat 50-14.)

Well, Reggie, here's hoping you get TASERED.

You should be tasered if...

You are Jerry Narron, the Reds Manager who keeps putting in reliever Gary Majewski and he keeps losing the ball game in late innings.

Wehope you get tasered Jerry.

You should be tasered if...

You are Bob Wickman of the Altanta Braves or any other closer they have that has blown one of their 28 blown saves this year. 28!